Monday, November 29, 2004

Waiting

It had been a busy week, short because of Thanksgiving, hurried with committee meetings, work, people in hospitals, and writing that I had wanted to get done. Instead of being productive, I ended up being angry at my husband because, in the midst of all of the chaos and pressure, he decided to bake a custard pie.
I had mentioned making a pie the previous weekend but because of all the things that needed to be done, and the fact that I had gained that same two pounds again, I had decided against it. When he, trying to please me, had insisted, I volunteered to make the crust, but in my haste of rushing out the door to another meeting, I must have measured something wrong. When I came home, there was a custard that neither of us really wanted to eat, another ruined pie shell from his efforts, a mess all over the kitchen and my husband nursing his bruised ego in bed.
In a flash, my anger boiled. Why, when there were all of the obvious things that needed to be done around the house, like laundry, filing of all of the papers that accumulate, cleaning the garage, did he waste his time on a stupid pie that neither of us wanted, creating a mess that I now had to clean up? Why? I questioned myself. Was it trying to be helpful, was it ego, a case of "I'll show her I can make a pie", or merely a case of poor communication.
Suddenly, I was reminded of my relationship with the Father. How many times do I get a fleeting glimpse of what I think he wants, a small piece of the whole picture, and then I go running off on my own, trying to prove my goodness to him by making a pie for him. Finally, after all my attempts have failed, usually after a lot of unnecessary pain, I quit trying. I throw in the towel and climb into bed, leaving a big mess for Him to clean up. I cry to him, "Oh Lord, how did I ever get in this mess?" But down deep inside I know. I've taken matters into my own hands again. And many times, it's not that what i have done isn't good, it's just that I don't have the timing down right. I haven't waited for Him to carry out His plans in the way that would be best.
There are many circumstances where we fail to wait for God's timing. For many of people that may look like marriage to the wrong person. We want to be married at all costs, and just in case we don't get another chance, we jump at the first opportunity then end up unhappier than when we were unmarried. Then we turn to God and blame him.
Or perhaps, we feel trapped in the wrong job, one we took solely out of desperation, one which we took because we saw no alternative, one which eats at our soul. We drag ourselves out of bed, dreading each day in a position which is totally unsuited to us. And we cry, "Oh, Lord! What have I done to deserve this?"
Hey wait a minute! God didn't put us in these uncomfortable places, we did. God promised He would give us the desires of our hearts. It isn't His plan for us to mess up our lives, that usually comes when we have taken things into our own hands. But God can redeem us, He can take those places where we have created a mess, and bring his redemption into them. Whenever our lives seem out of control, we need to step back and let Him take over, let his plans fall in place.
The Psalmist knew the advantage of waiting on the Lord for His timing and His plans. He says in Ps. 40:1-4,
"I waited patiently on the Lord and He has inclined His ear unto me. He lifted me out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock. He hath put a new song in my heart. Blessed is the man that maketh the Lord his trust."
God can still redeem all of the places we've fallen into, all of the brokenness. Let us all learn to wait.

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