Christmas Benediction

Ring out bells, ring out, bringing such joy and cheer
That the Christmas spirit will last throughout the rest of the year.
May we never forget the peace and goodwill towards all.
May we still be as cheerful when giving and be willing to give our all
To someone who is in need regardless of the month or day
Spreading the Christmas joy to all men in any and every small way.

That same person we worship at Christmas, let us worship throughout the whole year
May we show others the same kindness that we show when Christmas is near
Forever recalling in our minds that faraway Christmas long ago,
The wise men and shepherds who worshipped the babe in his birthplace so low.
Who would ever think that a king could come from a humble straw bed.
But this babe now reigns in the hearts of all who follow the path he tred.

Let us also follow the babe as the wise men followed the star.
Bringing gifts of gold and incense to the babe from lands of far.
And though we may not have such precious gifts to bring
Our voices can still be lifted as praises to Christ we sing.
And why shouldn't we praise him as the angels did long ago,
And as the shepherds worshipped should our hearts and heads be bent low.

Ring out bells, ring out, making the whole world recall
The reason why we celebrate this day that is precious to all
May the reason we celebrate be not for the gifts we receive
But to show respect and honor to the Christ in whom we believe.
And when we end this holiday and a new year is begun
May we ever hold Christ in reverence and may God bless us everyone.

Fall Melancholy

The days are shorter, and although there's no noticeable difference in the warmth of the days, the nights are most certainly cooler now, and even the flies, which take up residence each summer in the basement steps have gone. Have they gone in search of warmer pastures, or is their season in the sun truly over. Another generation will be back next year, but for now, they have left us in peace.

Although I'm cheered somewhat by the sound of the various birds overhead heading towards their winter home, for the most part I find myself beset by an unnamed, nostalgic, melancholy. For years, I've tried to put my finger on what that feeling really was. Is it a sorrow for lost loves, lost youth, a regret that my learning days are over, my days of carefree abandonment, the realization that I will probably spend the rest of my life toiling for a living. Or is it something more that pulls this melancholy blanket down on my mind?

In recent years I've noticed that this malady, this wooly malaise, is not peculiar to me alone during the fall time of year. Many of us get a little wistful during this season as we're donning our coats once more, and digging our woolens out of storage. Some of us may hum to ourselves more, some of us may find we spend more time wrapped up in bed with a good book and a cup of hot chocolate. But most of us somehow experience that irresistible longing for something, something out there but undefined.

I'm not sure if it's true for anyone else, but at least for myself I have gradually brought to definition this mysterious feeling. It's something more than mere anticipation of the winter ahead. There are also memories of other autumns in other places, shared with other friends and family, many of whom are not in our lives any longer. So, along with the anticipation comes the realization that life is very fleeting. One of the reasons this time of year causes me to look back on my life is because I can see it passing through my hands so swiftly and I see that trying to hold on to life, like trying to hold on to a handful of sand, is just an illusion. This time of year also, subconsciously at least, reminds me that my days are growing shorter, that the seasons of our lives are temporary also. Part of me is frightened by that, even in spite of all I know, part of me is still afraid that this life as I know it will end someday.

Then I remember what Jesus said. I wonder if it was in the fall that He spoke those words to his disciples. I can picture them sitting around the fire in the evening, the cool of the fall evening, anticipating the coming of winter. Looking ahead without knowing that they were looking for His death, and ultimately, their own.

"Let not your heart be troubled," he said. 'You believe in God, believe also in me. In my Father's house are many mansions, if it were not so, I would have told you. I go to prepare a place for you, and if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and receive you unto my own, that where I am, there you may be also." John 14:1-3

"Don't be afraid," I can hear him saying, "This world is not the only place to live. My Father can create all kinds of worlds. If he couldn't I would have let you know the reality of what He is. But, the reality is, He cares for his own and you are His own. The reality is I am going on before you to Him. You don't have to be afraid, I will show you what everything you've ever been afraid of looks like. I will prove to you, by rising from the dead that life as you know it is not all there is, that there is so much more...many more horizons than you ever dreamed possible

Parker's Night Out

Our cat Parker, a quiet, shy, indoor cat, gets it in his head that he wants to go outside, not in the daylight where it would be safe, but out into the darkness. With each spring evening he stays out later and later until finally the darkness overtakes him. We call and call, but still he will not come in. We sit and wait for the inevitable and finally we hear the unmistakable sounds of a cat fight. We go to look for the wounded, but there is nothing, just some wisps of fur.

All night long we wait up, calling, waiting. Dozing off we even dream of calling, waiting, knowing that Parker is hurt somewhere. "If he only makes it back," we muse, "We can make him well again. We'll tend his wounds and protect him from the bully tom cat." But still he doesn't come.

Finally, just as it begins to turn light, he appears at the back door, silent, bruised and battered. He cannot face us yet, so he runs and hides in the closet. He refuses to come out to let us check his wounds. He is afraid even of us, the ones who love him. Why? Did we send him out into the darkness, did we harm him? Our desire was only that he be safe.

In the midst of the relief of it all, comes the revelation of our relationship to the Father. I see myself sitting there through the night and think of how it says of our heavenly Father "The Lord never slumbers neither does he sleep."

We want to explore the darkness; we think we can see what's out there without being hurt. But we can't. After the inevitable pain, we come crawling back to the Lord in fear. Is he going to hurt us too?

In II Sam 14:14 it says, "For we must needs die and as are water spilt on the ground which cannot be gathered up again; neither doth the Lord respect any person: Yet doth he devise means that his banished be not expelled from him."

God has provided the means for us to return to him through His Son. We no longer need to hide out, ashamed of our bruises, our brokenness, our sins. We can come back. He is always waiting.

Peace and Love

I've been spending some time lately thinking about my 'semi-hippie' days in the late 60's and early 70's. 'Semi' because most of us still worked for a living during the week. But on the weekends, we took off for our communes in the country or hung out with others of a similar bent, dedicating our weekends to eating organic food, drinking cheap wine, smoking pot or hashish; in short, imbibing in love and whatever your drug or activity of choice was at the moment. If you listen to our songs, we were preoccupied with peace and love. "Come Together", "The Sounds of Silence", "Blowin' in the Wind","All You Need is Love", "Can't Buy Me Love", "Love the One You're With", "You Can't Hurry Love", " Good Lovin''', "Baby, I Need Your Lovin''', and on and on.

I have been thinking of those days because I still bear some of the scars from that time. Not emotional, fortunately I've been healed of all of that, but physically I still carry around some of the effects of those days of peace and love. You can't indulge in all we did back then without some lasting physical results. I know now that we were looking for love more than we were looking for peace, because when you find love, you find peace. I also know now, that all of my searching back then was leading me away from the true source of love, and would some day lead me back. In John 14:27 Jesus says , "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid - KJV. And love, is there any love greater than the one that was given up so we might be saved. So why aren't we the hippies of today. Proclaiming a gospel of peace and love. The true gospel of peace and love.

Discipline

(Do we want, or do we just want to want?)
At times, all of us look around and see the need in our lives or in our children's lives and recognize that things could be different. Maybe we struggle with our eating habits or our weight. We see others, healthier others, or perhaps thinner others, and we know that it’s not that it is easier for them, but that they have ordered their lives with a discipline that makes a difference. Perhaps they run daily, or monitor their intake of fats daily. Whatever it is, the only difference between their physical condition and our own is discipline.
If we have children, our desire is that they grow up to be healthy, productive adults, but do we give them the tools of discipline to do so? Furthermore, do we set examples of discipline for them to follow? If we're managers, do we set the standards of discipline that our employees need to see? Do we give them an example to follow? Do we set examples for our co-workers? Do we lead the way in demonstrating what a faithful servant/employee looks like? Or do we fall, letting the worlds standards of discipline and productivity apply to our lives?
Last summer we had two teenage boys with us for a month. Teens will be teens, but I found myself getting more frustrated and critical of their housekeeping habits with every passing day. Finally, I gave up nagging and just let the clothes pile up on the floors, mildewing in the humidity, as "I" knew they would. But my mind would not let go. As is usually the case, the root of the problem was much deeper than just letting clothes lie around.
Unfortunately it often takes a while to get to the bottom of what is bothering us. It wasn't until the situation disappeared, until the teenagers had gone back home, that I was able to step back and look at what was bothering me.
It has been said that what bothers us most often in others is a problem in our own life. "As iron sharpens iron", "The moat in our own eye", etc. When I stepped back to observe, I saw that I had begun to take the easy road myself. Not just around the house, where I had stopped fixing meals on a daily basis and where I didn’t clean with my usual regularity, but also at work, where I fluttered from one project to another, blaming my inability to accomplish anything on my boss and his lack of discipline. And, most importantly, it was in my spiritual walk that the lack of discipline was most noticeable. In the turmoil, excitement and challenges of moving halfway across the country I had neglected my daily discipline of starting the day with the Lord. My prayer and study life had crumbled and along with it, my right relationship with my Master and Creator, and as a result, my relationship with the rest of His creation.
If our spiritual life, or any aspect of our lives for that matter, is in a shambles, perhaps we should first look at the discipline in our lives. Is it there? We want the best from the Lord, but do we give him our best. The Psalmist says, "Early in the morning will I rise up to meet you." Are we rising up to meet the Lord or just expecting him to come meet us wherever we are? Do we think we can neglect our prayer and Bible study and yet the Lord will meet us, commune with us when we walk by the seashore, or climb to the mountaintops? It isn't so. It isn't so.

"Man and Woman He Created Them"

Many times I have found myself trying to compete in a man's world, and failing miserably. I don't want to accept that it is God's plan for my life that I should be a woman, different, set apart from the men who are always in control. The end result of this is depression, anguish, frustration, because 'the world' is against me. ‘I don't want to write for just women’, I say,’ I want my life to count.’
We've been brought up with the belief that success is measured only in men’s terms. The true artists; Rembrandt, Van Gogh, DaVinci, the true writers; Shakesphere, Hemingway, the poets; Tennyson, Whitman, Emerson, and the musicians; Mozart, Handel, Chopin and I've only named a few, the list goes on and on, have all been men. Sometimes we forget that this list must also include the conquerors, rulers, the evil; Hannibal, Nero, Hitler, another list which also goes on and on.
God gave men a drive that is different from that of women. Try as we might, our desire to place our mark on this earth has always taken a back seat to our desire to nurture and care for those around us. In the middle of going out to fight our most important battle, or painting the masterpiece, or writing the greatest sonnet, we would always stop to fix a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or put a band-aid on a grazed knee, success left behind.
Over one half of the worlds population is women and while we may not have the power, the prestige, the jobs, we are in control of something more. We are the nurturers, the reconciliators of God's creation. We're worthy of addressing, worthy of God's revelation. It may not be in man's terms, they have a tendency to address things more in terms of violence, (war, sports, etc.), But God reveals himself to us also, he reveals himself to us as he revealed himself to Sarai, to Elizabeth, to Mary. He revealed himself as a loving God, who cared for their concerns, their wellbeing, and even their mark on this earth.
Those that sought after him, found that his direction was crucial, that his faithfulness was everlasting. It's time that we recognize that we are separate, different. That we have different emotions, drives, and that it is ok.

Wild Beauty

Beauty runs wild in my garden and, while it's beautiful to me, to some it appears to be a wild harem of yellow, gold and fuchsia, sprawling all over itself in incoherent profusion. The only consolation to the gardener is that weeds are so intimated by the mess that they don't even attempt to grow.
I sometimes wonder if that isn't what life should look like in God's kingdom. Shouldn't our lives be a massive profusion of love that manifests itself in the form of all sizes and shapes in our lives? A love that gives permission to ourselves and others to be what the Master has created us to be? A love that runs all over itself, spilling out all over the place, even where it doesn't belong? Something that can't be packaged in a small tidy box.
In Matt. 6:28 Jesus says "consider the lilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin: and yet I say unto you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these."
The most frequent interpretation of this scripture is that we are not to be concerned over what we wear. I believe this is true, but isn't this also an admonition to us to see all of our brothers and sisters as beautiful, all contributing to the beauty and the harmony of God's garden. Our love should spread to all, not just to our close friends, or the ones who look beautiful to us, but to all of God's creation, all of those who live in the sunshine of His love. God gives us more than enough love to throw around. There's plenty of sun and water. He supplies us with everything we need, all we need to do is pass it on.
So often we think that before we can be beautiful, or before someone else can be beautiful to God, they must be neatly pruned and trimmed, perfect little potted plants all sitting in a row--the reds and the whites all neatly organized and each in their place. I think that God, on the other hand, takes great delight in setting the wild among the tame or vice versa, the tame among the wild.
There is an herb garden in one corner of our yard. Years ago I gave up on trying to keep the mint, catnip and lemon balm contained. They battle against each other every spring for possession of the land in a sprawling jungle warfare and I just let them fight it out.
Somehow in the midst of this warfare for possession of the land, a surprise lily managed to plant itself. I certainly wouldn't try to plant anything there, I'm too intimidated by the battle being waged. But, there it has been for the last few years. As a result, I'm always surprised in the spring when I see the slim tapered leaves shoot up through the vigorous new growth of the herbs. Then in mid-summer, without fail, a delicate pink flower pushes its head up out of the confused tangle of arms and legs that the herbs have become as if to say, "See, all is not lost. In spite of the confusion, there's still room for beauty here."
As Christians, not only do we often make the mistake of trying to pluck out anyone from among ourselves that doesn't look just like us, that isn't a carbon copy of ourselves, but we also tend to think that we have to be just like everyone else in God's kingdom, that we have to blend into the landscape.
This is most dangerous when we think we have to blend into the world in order to survive. It's as if we don't think that God's gospel is tenacious enough to grow on it's own. It must be packaged just like the rest of the world's gospel in order for it to be accepted.
We must not lose sight of our individual and corporate uniqueness and beauty as Christians. What we have the world cannot produce on it's own. We should not be afraid to grow anywhere, even where we look out of place.
"...Even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these.”

The High Places

The following is a piece I wrote several years ago...long before 9/11 and the collapse of the World Trade Center.

The high places have always held a fascination for us. In our recreation, we pursue the high places, climbing mountains, hiking high forest trails, ballooning, hang gliding. Even young children love to climb to the top of the jungle gym or swing as high as they can.
We try to establish our dwellings in high places also. We choose home sites on the sides of mountains. We build mansions on top of the highest hills. If there are no high hills, we build high towers instead. I read recently about the new skyscraper that is planned to be built in Chicago. At 199 stories, it will be a third taller than any building that now exists. I laughingly told my husband that I would hate to be around when that building fell down, but maybe it isn't so funny.
At the root of our quest for the high places is something inherently good, something formed in us from the beginning of time, a desire to be close to our creator. But along with our desire to be close to God, there is something else which gets sidetracked and begins worshipping the high places instead. The children of Israel built themselves high places. Listen to what it says in II King 17.
"And the children of Israel did secretly those things that were not right against the Lord their God, and they built themselves high places in all their cities from the tower of the watchman to the fenced city: And they set them up images and groves in every high hill and under every green tree and there they burnt incense in all the high places as did the heathen..."
We have always worshiped and erected temples to the god of the high place. Once the highest building in any city was the cathedral. In many small towns in our country it was the church with it's steeple.
When the focus shifted to the god of government, city halls, court houses and state capitols became the highest places in our cities.
And, now we worship the god of commerce. We build buildings that are great monuments to the business transacted within. The highest buildings in our land are all dedicated to the gods we worship.
God says he will tear down our high places and that means that someday even the best engineered building will probably fall. But before we start worrying needlessly about the skyscrapers falling down, we need to look at the high places we have erected in our own lives. Perhaps it is our beautiful home, or our career, or even our family. What do we lift up and exalt? What are the towers that we have built around us?
God wants to be our only fortress, our only high place. To truly be His people we must tear down all of our other high places: the people or positions we idolize, the things we run after, even those things we think will provide our security, and run after Him.
The children of Israel weren't all so different from us today. They didn't start following other gods because they were wicked. Instead, they had the same fears for their security that we have today, so they began to worship the harvest god so that they would have a guarantee of food and then the fertility god so that they would be blessed with children. Simple desires, simple gods, but they suddenly took their eyes off of their true provider. Soon the other gods became prominent and the God of Israel was relegated to the background.
God, the God of Israel, demands our total devotion. "Get thee up into the high mountains,” it says in Isaiah 40, "lift up thy voice with strength, lift it up, be not afraid. Say unto the cities of Judah, Behold your God!"
Those of us who work in those high places dedicated to other gods; in government, in business, even in churches, should be proclaiming to those around us that the Lord, he is God. We should not look to the high places for what they can provide for us, but should look to the one true God and his ever faithful provision.
The high places are not for us to worship, they are for us to climb, to climb and proclaim to the world. "Behold your God!"

Approaching God

In the midst of devotions this morning, one of the cats, Emma Lee jumped in my lap.

We have two female cats, Emma and Mia that come from similar backgrounds. We found Emma one fall day a few years agoduring one of our walks around the nearby university campus. She was scratching and dragging her way along the sidewalk. Her pelvis was shattered, her leg broken and her kidney's had been crushed. After several weeks of being nursed back to health at the vets, she pulled through.

Mia appeared on our porch last summer. We took her in when it became obvious she was going to have kittens. After the kittens were born and homes found for all, it was discovered that she has kidney failure. The vet said she might only have weeks or months to live, but she's loving, and we're enjoying whatever time we have with her.

Both of these cats remind me of how God takes us in; when we are broken and unable to care for ourselves, he finds us and heals us. Despite that similarity, Emma and Mia also remind me of our different approaches to God. Emma likes to sit on my lap, but only on her terms. She has to position herself in a certain way and if I move the wrong way, or there is the slightest distraction, she immediately jumps down and goes about her business. I know she loves me, if cats are capable of love, but she doesn't want to be 'that' close.

Mia on the other hand, would sit with us for hours. If we move, she moves with us and adjusts accordingly. More than that, she loves to be involved in whatever we're doing. If she hears a conversation, she will immediately leave her cat nap to situate herself in the middle. And, if there is work going on, even better. She wants to be a part of whatever we're doing.

I watch these two cats and wonder about my relationship with God. Does it have to be on my own terms, or am I willing and eager to be part of whatever he is doing?

Rescue the Perishing

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.”- John 3:16
My grandmother always lived in a small town where she knew everyone, not just those in town, but all of the farmers who lived within twenty miles. She would always keep an eye on the local store owned by my uncle, especially on a Saturday, for those who came to buy groceries. It gave her a chance to drop her hoe in the garden and go visit a while, see what was going on, minister the Lord's love to them.
Now we live in communities where we don't know our neighbors, let alone love them. They're all around us, the needy, the unloved, the unlovely, our own mission field, and yet we come home from work and lock ourselves away behind closed doors. Are we afraid that they might rub off on us, that they might contaminate us, or even more so, afraid that we might rub off on them or perhaps rub them the wrong way with our righteousness?
The Lord told us to go preach the gospel. That means to the neighbor who is struggling with alcoholism, that means to the man with AIDS down the street, to the young couple next door who seem to have everything or even to the ones across the street with the yippy dog. We should be throwing our arms open to them. That's what Christ would do. He would pray for them and baby-sit with their kids, bake cookies for them, take them soup when they're sick. But we merely wait. Are we waiting for permission, for recognition, for a voice from the Lord? Meanwhile they're perishing.
An old hymn comes to mind:

"Rescue the perishing, care for the dying
Snatch them from pity, from sin and the grave
Weep o’er the erring one, lift up the fallen
Tell them of Jesus, the mighty to save."

We need to open our eyes and see that the world is perishing while we sit calmly by with the answer. We've left it to our pastors, tele-evangelists, and missionaries, those who were "called" to present the gospel, but preaching, sermons, or even wise direction for their lives does not rescue the world. It is rescued by love, by closeness, by caring.
When a high-rise is on fire, it isn't the person down on the ground barking directions through a loud speaker that those who are trapped are so grateful to see. It is the one who goes out on a limb, who climbs the ladder to reach out his hand to them who makes a difference in their lives, in whether or not they live or die.
We need to stop giving the world direction. They've got enough of that already. We need to give them what they really need and what we've already received: God's love, compassion, acceptance and forgiveness. It's there as it has always been, freely offered and in abundance. He has it for all of his creation and they need it...they know they need it...they're dying for it and yet we hesitate to offer it.

"Down in the human heart, crushed by the temptor
Feelings lie buried that grace can restore
Touched by a loving heart, wakened by kindness
Chords that were broken will vibrate once more."--Fanny J. Crosby

Branching Out

"You are the vine, we are the branches, keep us abiding in you."

We moved. A year later, I still find myself wishing I were back "home." as I call it. The only place where I ever really lived. Forty years of lives and places entwined together. And yet our lives have already been entwined with new lives here, and our friends and family have filled in the empty spaces we left behind. Life goes on.

It's a chilly day in my office and I sit holding a cup of coffee for warmth and stare out the window wishing again for the past. I see a tree, beginning to bud, to leaf out once again and my eye is drawn to a branch in the center of the tree which is dying. It's bark and wood have grown dark, and there are only two or three twigs with half-hearted attempts at buds on that particular branch. All of the rest of the twigs have long ago fallen to the ground. Am I that branch Lord, dying because I don't want to grow , to branch out?

Baby Boom

I read an article some time ago about how difficult it is going to become for those of us from the post war baby boom. How in terms of real dollars, our spending power has decreased, how all of our things are wearing out as we use them. At first I was really scared; planned obsolescence catching up with us at last. What is going to happen to me?
I looked around at all the things laying before me, trinkets, souvenirs, reminders of times past and I thought of the trunk upstairs filed with more odds and ends of old memories. I realized that this was true, things were wearing out. The dish that I had treasured was now chipped, the broken statue had been glued together, grandmother's quilt which I treasured so had become stained through years of sitting unused in the cedar chest. And, what is going to happen to our car, that inexpendable symbol of American mobility? No matter how often we buy a new one, it becomes obsolete, worn out, used up in a few short years. Everything we have is going to fall apart and we won't have the resources to replace it. Is there anything worth holding on to? Anything which doesn't become obsolete? I had suddenly entered another valley of the shadow of death.
Then I remembered what the Lord said " Lay not up for your self treasures on earth where moth and rust doth corrupt." It should be easier for those of us in this age of planned obsolescence to stop trying to hold on to any treasures. Our cars become obsolete, the minute the salesman gives us the key, this years color scheme always preempts last years, magazines are constantly telling us what's in and what's out.
Yet we still try to hold on to our earthly treasures while God offers us something more, something that has been tried and has not decayed. The centuries have not dimmed its worth. God's truth, His gospel, His glory has not diminished over the years. It is as new and exciting as it ever was and he offers it to us for free. It's inflation and recession proof and no one can take it away from us. He has promised his faithfulness to us forever
When it comes right down to it, most of the things I am afraid of losing are things which come between me and the Lord.
He promised he would take care of my needs, would even dress me as he does the lilies of the field. If so, then what am I afraid of losing? Prestige? Respect? That comes from God and not from man. My possessions? They aren't mine anyway, I'm just the caretaker. And even if I lost all I have, I would have more still than 80% of the world. My Pride? I could certainly stand to lose that. It always comes between me and the Lord.
So, I have nothing to fear. In fact, the only thing I should ever fear is that I would have fears. That proves that there is something in my life I'm holding on to instead of God.

Introduction

I have nothing to commend myself to you but a sincere desire to be a servant of Jesus Christ. I won't be disappointed if I am met with skepticism from the Christian community. For I willing can identify with Paul who was rejected by the religious leaders, the Scribes and Pharaisees of this day.

Nevertheless, I know what I have seen. Paul says, we see in part and we prophecy in part. This is not the whole picture, just one persons observations of God in our daily lives.

Waiting

It had been a busy week, short because of Thanksgiving, hurried with committee meetings, work, people in hospitals, and writing that I had wanted to get done. Instead of being productive, I ended up being angry at my husband because, in the midst of all of the chaos and pressure, he decided to bake a custard pie.
I had mentioned making a pie the previous weekend but because of all the things that needed to be done, and the fact that I had gained that same two pounds again, I had decided against it. When he, trying to please me, had insisted, I volunteered to make the crust, but in my haste of rushing out the door to another meeting, I must have measured something wrong. When I came home, there was a custard that neither of us really wanted to eat, another ruined pie shell from his efforts, a mess all over the kitchen and my husband nursing his bruised ego in bed.
In a flash, my anger boiled. Why, when there were all of the obvious things that needed to be done around the house, like laundry, filing of all of the papers that accumulate, cleaning the garage, did he waste his time on a stupid pie that neither of us wanted, creating a mess that I now had to clean up? Why? I questioned myself. Was it trying to be helpful, was it ego, a case of "I'll show her I can make a pie", or merely a case of poor communication.
Suddenly, I was reminded of my relationship with the Father. How many times do I get a fleeting glimpse of what I think he wants, a small piece of the whole picture, and then I go running off on my own, trying to prove my goodness to him by making a pie for him. Finally, after all my attempts have failed, usually after a lot of unnecessary pain, I quit trying. I throw in the towel and climb into bed, leaving a big mess for Him to clean up. I cry to him, "Oh Lord, how did I ever get in this mess?" But down deep inside I know. I've taken matters into my own hands again. And many times, it's not that what i have done isn't good, it's just that I don't have the timing down right. I haven't waited for Him to carry out His plans in the way that would be best.
There are many circumstances where we fail to wait for God's timing. For many of people that may look like marriage to the wrong person. We want to be married at all costs, and just in case we don't get another chance, we jump at the first opportunity then end up unhappier than when we were unmarried. Then we turn to God and blame him.
Or perhaps, we feel trapped in the wrong job, one we took solely out of desperation, one which we took because we saw no alternative, one which eats at our soul. We drag ourselves out of bed, dreading each day in a position which is totally unsuited to us. And we cry, "Oh, Lord! What have I done to deserve this?"
Hey wait a minute! God didn't put us in these uncomfortable places, we did. God promised He would give us the desires of our hearts. It isn't His plan for us to mess up our lives, that usually comes when we have taken things into our own hands. But God can redeem us, He can take those places where we have created a mess, and bring his redemption into them. Whenever our lives seem out of control, we need to step back and let Him take over, let his plans fall in place.
The Psalmist knew the advantage of waiting on the Lord for His timing and His plans. He says in Ps. 40:1-4,
"I waited patiently on the Lord and He has inclined His ear unto me. He lifted me out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock. He hath put a new song in my heart. Blessed is the man that maketh the Lord his trust."
God can still redeem all of the places we've fallen into, all of the brokenness. Let us all learn to wait.